Our Rural Roots

My Boots Bestow Confidence

(Jennifer Campbell)

I spend way too much time stuck inside my own head.

And, to be honest, that's a scary place to spend time.

I tend to lack self-confidence and feel as though I ooze self-doubt. I try to hide these bouts of low esteem with lots of sarcasm and self-deprecation. According to Google, I suffer from "impostor syndrome." Somehow diagnosing myself with impostor syndrome feels akin to a humble person telling people they are humble, but I digress.

Then, there's the fear of being exposed. Who am I to assume titles such as farmer, freelance writer and children's book author? My headstone will probably read my most said phrase: "Oh that ... that's no big deal. Anyone can do it if I can."

I'm always expecting someone to burst into the room, point a finger, and shout: "Aha! There you are, you fraud!" But let's be real, if I were a fraudulent mastermind, I'd probably choose a more glamorous life of international intrigue. Instead, here I am having my yearly existential crisis while wearing my pajamas and sitting in my messy farmhouse kitchen.

Is there a difference between confidence and self-confidence? Where does one get "magical powers" that keep the gremlins in our head from taking over?

They say building self-confidence is a gradual process that involves self-awareness, setting and achieving small goals, learning from experiences and practicing positive self-talk. I am pretty good at talking to myself.

Maybe it all comes down to just doing, trying and not being terrified to fail and learning from it when I do. But, just in case, I have a trick to kicking this funk. I put on a good pair of work boots. I feel best when I'm working. Putting one foot in front of the other to get the job done is usually the magic I need to tackle the very things I sometimes question my ability to do.


-- Jennifer (Jent) Campbell kicks her heels up and often questions "life" from a seven-generation Indiana family farm. She also writes a blog called Farm Wife Feeds (https://farmwifefeeds.com/…). Follow her on X @plowwife and on the podcast @girlstalkag


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